Bereaved Clacton dad helping raise funds for children's hospice

Scott Rogers, from Clacton has spoken out to support East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices’ (EACH) Christmas Appeal.

His son Fin was diagnosed with leukaemia, a type of blood cancer, early last year.

Although Fin put up a brave fight and went into remission during the summer, the cancer returned and sadly, he died on October 19, 2022.

He received end-of-life care, with Scott, wife Becky and 7-year-old son Ollie continuing to be supported by EACH.

Smiles - the Rogers family (Image: EACH)

Scott is sharing his story as a way of supporting the charity’s Christmas Appeal - a campaign aiming to raise in the region of £40,000.

Scott said: “There’s no right or wrong way to deal with grief and it depends on an individual’s personality.

“However, as a dad, I remember feeling I had to keep going and didn’t want to stop.

“I saw it as my job to fix things and, even though there was nothing I could do to change the situation, I needed to be strong for everyone else. It was my duty to make sure they were OK.

“I feel my whole purpose is to look after and protect my children, so to lose Fin made me feel a failure. It was hard to process and it’s only now, looking back, I realise I burnt myself out, physically and mentally.

“I still consider myself a dad of two boys, even though one has been taken away, and my advice to anyone else going through the same thing is don’t forget to look after yourself.”

Two EACH nurses were present when Fin died at home. 

Loss - Fin Rogers (Image: EACH)

Scott is keen to shine a light on the support he and his family received from EACH during their harrowing time. 

Ollie is enjoying music therapy while Scott and Becky benefit from counselling and bereavement support, in addition to attending events and memory days at The Treehouse.

He added: “What we experienced a year ago is something no-one wants to go through, but it would have been completely unbearable and unimaginable without that support.

“We couldn’t have been in better hands and will forever be grateful for the opportunity to spend time with Fin, while also processing everything going on around us.

“I can’t praise the incredible staff enough and everyone was so kind, caring and respectful.”

Scott added: “We hid away from the world this time last year.

“We went away for a few days because we didn’t want to be at home, around other people. We wanted time on our own, adapting to life as a family of three.

“Christmas will never be the same. It’ll always feel different and we’ll never be as excited as before.

“However, we’ll put a brave face on for Ollie’s sake. He’s only seven so he’s looking forward to it.

Group - Becky, Scott, Ollie and Fin Rogers (Image: EACH)

“He talks about his little brother all the time and gets upset, but we want him to know it’s ok to be excited about his toys and presents, about seeing family and being allowed to eat sweets and chocolate first thing in the morning.

“Those things are completely normal for any child and his excitement will help us get through it.”

To make a donation to EACH’s Christmas Appeal, go to each.org.uk/appeal.