by MARTIN OSWICK

IF Carlsberg made Easter weekends, they’d probably have made FC Clacton’s.

Two wins against our main relegation rivals, two clean sheets and, most importantly, a five-point gap between ourselves and the relegation zone. It couldn’t have gone much better.

I wasn’t at our 4-0 victory over Diss but I’m told the scoreline in no way flattered us as we eased past the Tangerines, allowing us to leapfrog Wivenhoe, who lost at Thetford.

That set us up for Monday’s showdown with Wivenhoe as over 300 people (a record since we re-formed as FC Clacton) came to the Bowl for the crucial game.

Now, I’m no adrenaline junkie.

I’ve never been a fan of things that make the brow sweat and pulse race to dangerous levels, like theme parks, extreme sports or the extra-hot sauce from Nandos.

However, I definitely got my fix on Monday.

Beforehand, I veered from wild over-confidence to stomach-churning nervousness and feelings of impending doom, before finally settling somewhere near cautious optimism.

However, the first half seemed crippled by nerves as the importance of the match seemed to get to the players.

In the second half, Clacton settled better but missed a couple of good chances and there was a growing sense of dread that we might be punished before Steve Downes saved our bacon with a goal-line block to keep it 0-0.

From that collective sigh of relief, we swung back to pained anguish as Sean Hillier’s thunderbolt smashed the crossbar and there was near desolation as Aaron Condon missed a one-on-one that you’d back him to score more often than not.

Finally, just as it looked like we’d have to settle for a draw, Kevin Coyle smashed in an 89th-minute winner and set off on his fastest sprint of the day in celebration amid almost pandemonius euphoria from all on the FC Clacton side.

It was a nail-biting, nerve-shredding, exhilarating and, for me, exhausting afternoon.

Actually, forget weekends.

If Carlsberg made rollercoasters like that, I’d be at their theme park every week!