Tendring Talk
Tendring Talk: January 17
THE story on page 13 (The night a Luftwaffe Pilot Knocked at the Door), sent in by Karl Johnson, is a fascinating tale of Britain in the war years.
Heaven knows what would happen now to an enemy
airman parachuting into Tendring.
For a start there would probably not be a station master living at the station - he would have been replaced by a CCTV camera connected to a machine in Luton.
Were a human on the scene, he would be prosecuted for having an offensive weapon.
The airman would not have to be a prisoner of war, instead he could proudly declare "I am seeking asylum" and before you could say "keep your hands up" he would be whisked away by Social Services.
However, there would be problems. What would you do if you had an airman in your garden?
Call 999 and you can picture it now: "Sorry, all our officers are currently doing pointless paperwork or checking out car tax discs on the A120 so we will have to send a PCSO.
"Unfortunately, your PCSO has yet to pass his cycling proficiency test and has to rely on public transport so he will be there next Wednesday afternoon."
"Oh, ok" you reply, "what should I do until then, lock him in the shed?"
"Sorry sir, detaining someone against their will is committing false imprisonment and we would be forced to arrest you."
Amazed, you splutter: "But he is a foreign bomber pilot! He was trying to bomb Harwich!"
"Sorry sir, that is for the courts to decide and the law is here to protect everyone.
"I suggest you invite him in for a cup of tea but please make sure the cup is stamped "Warning, this cup of tea is hot" or you could be prosecuted under Health and Safety legislation."
9:45am Thursday 17th January 2008
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Tendring Talk is a controversial, irreverant look at local life. The views expressed do not represent those of the Gazette or of newsquest, its parent company. Comment and contributions for the column are warmly welcomed.
